Anak buluh betung

marilah beranak~

Alamak!!! i terberanak sorang lagi anak harini!

matila betambah lagi jumlah anak i skang...

tapi pk balik.. anak sulung dah bleh stand on her feet skang.. so i dah tak risau sgt.

anak no 2 .... hhmmmmm.. still my biggest worry to date.

anak no 3 .... rasanya tunggu masa utk flag off

anak no 4 .... quite independent dah... now on the right track already... not much guidance needed lagi..kalau terpesong jugak mmg aku ketuk kepala dia sampai lunyai kot.

hello world!

so rasanya i'm quite ready for a new born. this one should be an interesting case to pick.

must everything comes in pair? part 1

I was at No Black Tie last friday, mummy performed that night. I had to pay 40 bucks just for the cover charge without any complimentary drinks. Really a cut throat situation. Just because they can get someone as good as my mummy to perform, they think that they can simply rip people's pocket that easy? Celaka betul! They were lucky coz the 'grape juice' served was fantastic, else there will be more things for me to bitch about in this entry. But that is not the real reason of me writing today.

Ran into few other people there and one of them was Sam. Sam is a successful reporter, in fact he is now the head editor for a lifestyle section in one of renown local newspaper. Its been a while since the last time we met... i guess a good couple of years.

We asked about how each other's life. updates and stuffs. then the "P" word came out from nowhere. the "Partner" word. I didn't remember who brought the topic up but i do remember telling that i'm now single. In a very cheerful tone. I was always and has always been known as a happy-go-lucky person to them (there are bunch of other friends there) and the ideal scenario is to give what exactly people wants. Act as if nothing really bothers me much.

Awe...how sweet... my ass

And then Sam responded to me. "You know what Ash, i'm cursed". 'Why do u say so?'. " Since the last time we hang out till now, i have been single all the while" Now, what would a happy-go-lucky, yet nurturing (yea rite!) person do when he is put under such situation? Of course, i need to be positive. To make him feel good. A skill that i picked up during my counseling course and those countless sessions that i had with people on problems they are facing.

Being single is bad?

I told him that living single is not that bad. Look from a brighter side of it. You have no one to dictate or restrict your movement. And you have options to choose from everyday. Without having to consider the other person when making one.

But at the back of my mind, i hesitated with my ownself. Is being single really a curse? Must everything comes in pair to make sense?

end of part 1

If...

Currently listening to this song.. on and on..

Hey kau! Bongok sangat kah?

Hey hey~

Harini i nak berangan bercakap pasal kemanusiaan pulak. Pose berangan wan kamarudin ataupun dang suria. Dintch mau jadi pengacara 999 tu. apa nama dia? mazidul ek? Takpe..tak penting pun sapa org tu anyway. Bukan dapat hadiah pun kalau teke betul kan?

Kesahnye macam ni uols. Selalu i baca je dlm soratkabar. Tak pernah lagi nampak depan mata. Tapi i berharap tak kan lagi la i jumpa binatang2 macam ni lagi kat mana2. Tak cukup dengan kematian yang sedia ada..ko nak jugak create satu utk diri sendri kan? apa punya manusia pun aku tak tau! I nak meracau jerit 8 octave mcm kak mariah sat...

ahhhhhh~ sampai ke key nye nok?

Last friday, i gi buat site visit i kat tepeng. so masa lunch tu i pun pegi la ke tesco tepeng utk nyam nyam sengsorg. Sudah makan i pun gi le ke carpark khen. nak sambung keje katanya... sambil2 i jalan mencari kerete (sebetulnye sudah cuak sbb tak tau kete kat mana; i ni dorry the fish sket. slalu lupa kete park mana) i nampak la satu bijik kete ni masuk ke parking.

Pompuan ni datang ngan anak laki dia. Budak skolah. Mcm mana i tau? sbb dia pakai uniform skolah rendah la. pandai tak? hahahah. Then i tengok mak dia kuar dari kete tu tapi anak dia menten duk dlm men gem. I pun memerhati lebih lanjut sambil trus mencari kete i jgk.

Sian ko kene tinggal ngan mak ko dlm kete ye nakk... meh ikut abg balik... ops.

Pastu burit tu tekan tit-tot dia (alarm la) then trus berambus. Ayo! darah i terus menyirap ye! KO BODOH KE BANGANG TINGGAL ANAK DLM KETE SENGSORG BAHALUL OI? Uols, walaupun budak tu budak sekolah rendah, cerdik sangat ke dia sampai leh kene tinggal dlm kete semata2 mak dia nak gi shopping kat tesco tu?

Apa alasan ko tinggalkan anak macam tu? tak mau dia kacau ko shopping? takmau org ingat ko dah kawin? cantik ke kau? cham taik ada la! kalau dia mati kejung kat dlm tu sapa nak meracau? kalau dia kene colek ke apa? sapa nak begolek2 atas lantai menangis tak sudah? aku ke kau? isk bodoh betul la!

I pun pose good citizen gi kelui dia.

"miss, i think u left something behind. ur son is still inside the car"

"oh. yes. purposely did that. let him play with his game."

"eh, u can't do that, don't u worry about ur own child's safety? he could have been suffocated by carbon monoxide released by the air-cond or something "

"its ok. i've already switch off the engine"

haaaaaaa! bangang tak pompuan ni uols? ko ingat sbb bebudak yg mati sebelum ni sbb aircond dia on. ko lebih cerdik dari parents yang lain la sbb ko off engine ko kali ni? dari elok budak tu mati keracunan carbon monoxide which kills u silently tanpa rasa sakit, ko nak anak ko mati menggelupur kepanasan kah?

ko penah baca tak sign ni bahalol?

Kata org, pompuan ni bila dah jadi mak, naluri ibu diorg kuat. sanggup korban kan diri demi anak2. aku rasa pompuan ni tak masuk dlm list tu la kot. sbb mungkin naluri ibu dia dibuat daripada otak binatang. wait, even binatang pun pandai jaga anak.. so maybe pompuan ni sememangnya takde otak.

kalau ko tak reti nak bela anak ko tu, baik ko kasi org ye. baik kasi aku lagi bagus. walaupun aku takde pepet, aku tau jaga anak lebih baik dari ko!

tapi.. kalau pikir dua kali, tak mau la anak ko tu..sbb dia tak cando. i dintch mau bela anak yg hodoh. so biar la dia mati kejung dlm tu.. tak de guna sangat pun. lagipun kesian jgk bila dia besa nanti... jadi budak yg laha..takde org mau, pastu kene kutuk buruk macam mak dia.. then dia depress and bunuh diri.. so kesimpulannye dari dia mati sbb bunuh diri, baik mak dia bunuh sesiap kot?

Kalau anak u cando macam ni, i rela amik dia bawak balik umah. Biarlah i berkorban membesarkan dia.... *penuh sifat penyayang sgt kan?

Oooo.. tak abis lagi perbualan i ngan pompuan tu. u tau i jawab apa kat dia lepas dia bagi statement bodo mcm tu kat i? * ko ingat aku ni sekolah tak abis ke pompuan oi?

"aaaaa... ic.. good one. Anyway, while shopping for your groceries, u might want to pick up bundles of color papers and perhaps a printer if u don't have one yet"

"why would i need those stuff for anyway. i'm late already, thanks for your concern"

"no problem miss. btw, those stuff that u think u won't be needing would come in handy when ur child goes missing. U sure need a lot of fliers"

Trus sentap pompuan tu uols! I pun trus berjalan dengan perasaan bongkak. Mrasa la kau!

Pon pon pon... pondan

Tadaaa~ i dah compartmentalize kan emosi dan kini sudah bisa menulis dengan ceria kembali. Mohon maaf kalau post sebelum ni yang bernada jiwa kacau telah mengaggu gugat emosi org lain. Tapi ni blog i.. so i punya suka la kan? hahahaha. Tak kan la hari2 hidup aku ni gembira memanjang.. sah sah la ada suka duka sakit hati senang hati bagai. Kata manusia.. kalau tak, baik jadi robot ataupun binatang.. tak yah pening kepala.

Jadi, utk posting ni, i nak berkesahkan pasal kejadian 2 minggu lepas. Dimana kereta i telah pandai bermain vagina monologue katanya! kete aku ni mmg sial la. dah la kene curi pastu tak cukup sifat, skang ni dah pandai meracau2 pulak! How?

KETE I DIRASUK HANTU UOLSSSS!!

waaaaaa~ i merasuk kereta u sbb perchintaan i dintch kekal katanya~ *opss

Nak dijadikan cerita (bukan la i buat2 ye ceritanye. ini kesah benar!), i gi ke pavilion jumpa kawan i catching up stories la segala. pastu i gi la ke lau yat ngan dia sat sbb nak tuka game PSP i. Masa ni takde apa2 yg pelik lagi berlaku..sampai la masa kitorg sampai ke parking lot nak kuar kan kete...

Kene pulak masa nak kuar tu, ada kete lain nunggu nak masuk. elok i pusing steering i, i dengar org hon. I pun dengan sewenang2nye memaki kete yg menunggu tu sbb tak reti2 nak saba kan? dah kira cukup rahmat la aku nak kuar cepat2 tak macam sengah2 org yg boleh bergolek2 dlm kete pastu korek idung la, betul2 kan mekap rambut la sebelum idupkan engine. kak pah (kawan i) pun turut sama memaki kete tu. tapi tingkap tutup la.. so org tu bkn dengar pun.. hahaha

dah kuar dari lau yat tu..i dengar org hon lagi! tiap kali i pusing kete je ada org hon! babi tak? apa harini semua org mood swing kah? keje hon memanjang?

apa nak kena saman kah org yg suka2 hati honk2 ni?

Memandangkan i super kondifen yang bunyi honk tu bukan dari kete i, kami bedua dengan secukup rasa meracau pasal makhluk2 di kl yg tak berperibahasa katanya. sampai la masuk ke jalan bukit bintang yg pada ketika itu sangatla hanjing jam nye.

kereta bersusun uols.. tak bergerak! mana kempen berkongsi kete nye? ado?!

Tapi kenkondifenan i berubah bila dlm kete bersusun2 ni, i menyedari yg bunyi hon tu datang dari kete i! ayo!! perasaan berani maki jadi sgt takut ye! rupa2nya stiap kali i gerakan steering i, kete i bebunyi.. memula hon tu lite2 manja je bunyinye pastu makin kuat pulak! sampai tahap meracau! i jadi sangat cuak ye!

ko imagine la, kat bukit bintang, kete bersusun, pastu tempat ni plak terkenal dengan samseng2 tak hingat tuhan.. sbb diorg ingat diorg la tuhan kan? pastu keta aku plak dengan suka hatinye berbunyi macam aku la kepala segala samseng dlm dunia ni. kalau korang, apa perasaannye?

gerak skit je, dia bunyi.. sampaikan aku jadi takut nak pegang steering tu! org semua dah tgk lain macam.. siap ada yg balas2 honk. kene plak dia bunyi mmg kene pada masa uols.. bila ada kete tetiba masuk lorong la.. ataupun buat dajal. tak ke horror?

kitorg bedua hanya mampu bedoa je la supaya takde sesapa benti kete, then kuar datang debik kepala memasing *hi daia~.

tapi tuhan masih sayang kat weols bedua.. takde la org gila buat benda bukan2.. habis dasyat pun diorg pandang hina kat weols.. so yang terbaik yg kitorg bleh buat adalah posse cantik sambil angkat tangan from steering tu dan buat contoh bahawa kete tu bunyi sendri.. dan terbukti teknik tu mmg berkesan!

kesimpulannye.. kalau uols dilahirkan cantik dan comel, u will get away with trouble. githu~

*ending angkat bakul. la la la

Not Myself

Suppose I said
I am on my best behavior
there are times
I lose my worried mind

Would you want me when I'm not myself?
Wait it out while I am someone else?

Suppose I said
Colors change for no good reason
words will go
From poetry to prose

Would you want me when I'm not myself?
Wait it out while I am someone else?

And I, in time, will come around, come around
I always do for you

Suppose I said
You're my saving grace?

My grace
My self
Not myself, my myself and I...
When I'm someone else
When I'm not myself

dear lord, i hope that i've made the right decision this time....