Tuesday, June 3, 2008

To tell or not to tell


Sejauh mana kredibiliti kita dalam persahabatan?  how good are you as a friend? are you the type of friend that would only share the laughs but spare the difficult part of sharing the sad, crying moments? 


since aku mmg sucks dalam managing my own relationship, the least that i know about is to look after my friends. Be it whenever they are happy or sad. i will try my level best to be there for them. sampai kengkadang tu ada some of friends yg rasa i ni over terlebih care kat dorang.


coz i believe that they are my safety net, the only place that i can turn my back to and fall whenever i'm senseless, happy or feeling low.


so nak dijadikan cerita, last weekend aku dapat cerita pasal kawan aku nye partner  playing behind his back. Not that baru first time aku dengar but when i heard it for the second time coming from different source, i believe that there must be something going on. Just that aku tak sure whether it will be right for me to crush someone's relationship that they are so happy with with news like this.


i kept it to myself till this evening... i just don't feel right.


petang tadi sambil2 aku dengar trainer bebel kat depan, aku started to text some of my friends for their opinions. the respondents were Kikie, Bosh and Lenny (Reza tak balas SMS i, berpanas kat construction area sampai lupa hp bunyi kot)


Sessi hati ke hati bersama farah


The question bermula seperti berikut:


"What is ur opinion to this? U rasa as a good friend, patut ke tak u simpan rahsia yg blh merosakan hubungan cinta kwn u ataupun cerita kat dia supaya dia tak hidup dalam kepuraan. mana satu lebih baik?"


got my first responce from kiki...in summary, he prefers to listen to the hard truth.


kikie: be true to your friend. Though it'll hurts.


me: ic.. then its gonna be tough


kikie: yeah. it depends on person. whether can take it or not? If it is me, i would want the truth.


me: but it will also either make or break a friendship. coz people hate hearing the truth. they would rather listen to sugarcoated truth. how?


kiki: hmm. up to you. but for me i will not let my friend lives in a sugarcoated life. so keep it if u want to. betulah pepatah - jangan pecah dimulut biar pecah di bontot. (tetiba)



when i read his viewa, me kinda in the same wavelength with him. i believe that a good friend is the one who have the guts to tell you the bad news rather than pleasing you, giving you the unreal alternated vision of life. and i happened not to be the only person who believed in this.. so does Bosh



bosh: i think we should protect our friend from being lied to. He or she might disagree, but at least we have done our role. so sapa org tu, aku ke? ayo!


however, lenny has a different view all together. Which in a way has its own logic.


lenny: ayo..dangerous waters g2. to me i prefer not to be involved coz i dont want to be the bitch. klau ko repot tp derang x break, ur a bitch. kalo ko report and they breakup, ur still a bitch. personally that is how i feel. sapa ni? hopefully not a fren la.


me: tu la.. aku dlm dilemma. yes. it is one of us.


lenny: oh my, i dont want to know. i think as a fren we just have to be there if it ends. thats all we can do. but lets not be the bearer of bad news.


me: oh shit! im getting mixed feedback now. xtau mana satu nak pilih.


lenny: i understand u feel this responsibility to a fren. but the main responsibility is to ensure our frens are happy even when we have to turn a blind eye.


me: but that is like living in a dream. shall we be the reactive or rather be the proactive ones? coz it hurts more knowing after than before. and the wound is even deeper knowing that ur friends knew it but keep it to themselves as if they were watching a freak show.


lenny:i know but this isnt like telling ur friend that the shirt doesnt fit ok... ok, at least wait till ur sure . there is no need to cause pain when its not necessary



if you were me, what would you do? 

which one of those opinions or stand would you take?


11 comments:

Jesz Superfox said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jesz Superfox said...

i'd tell him the truth. i think if u know sumthing and u care enuff for him, u'd tell him too. besides, he deserves to know if his bf (matiker mak?) is a lying SOB. no doubt he'll be heartbroken, but he'll get over it and realize that he's better off without that sucker.
(matila emo sbb dh pnah melalui katanya)

Ash-Junk said...

jes.. ko ada blog rupanya. ingatkan blog ko kat frenster je.. i'll add up ur link to mine too.

hahahah..i would have expected that from you. i'm gathering more responce from people..then i'll write up on how the thing ends.

personally, i share the same opinion as you. but lenny's one is something to think about too..

izzu said...

better leave unsaid.

i prefer asking the bf the truth and ask him personally whether the news is right or wrong. bila dah kompem dan dpt bukti kukuh, baru ckp kat kawan yang berkenaan

aku dah agak ko akan deliver news tu, sooner or later. aku rasa, macam aku dah buat mistake citer kat ko. patutnya, aku just keep quiet.

aku taknakla jd that bitch, unless, kalo news tu btul2 confirmed

Ash-Junk said...

eh, how sure are you that i will let him know? though i share the same stand as most of the people whom i featured in.. does not mean i would end up doing it.

plus. i think u did the right thing by telling me. wait till the story ends and you decide whether you are the bitch that u self-proclaimed to be.

kimie carrera said...

wow.
why there's lots of stuff goin around that im not even aware of? kekekekeke.

hmmm.. to tell or not to tell ...

u betta tell if you r confident 'that friend' can accept the truth and then laugh together thinking of that b-shit, and move on for another guy, kan izu? opss

&

u betta dont tell if you know for sure 'that friend' will go for suicidal opt after hearin the truth. aummmm~

hehehehe *nervous*

Ash-Junk said...

if you are the receipient of the news, would you want to hear it syai?

your comment is much similar to reza. (his comment was not written inside the blog coz we had the chat bout it last night.)

what i can summ up from his thought was that only you would know whether you should tell or keep it to yourself.

coz u know that fella well enough to gauge on his acceptance towards the news. Hence the idea on who will be the bitch in the story shall not arise.

shafizal said...

hish.... bagi i la kan...
depends la pada rahsia apa yang i pegang.
Kalau rahsia tu boleh menyebabkan runtuhnya rumah tangga dia, e.g. pasangan dia ada main kayu 3 ngan orang lain ke, ngan I ke **ooopss, erm, mungkin I bagi tahu la. supaya dia boleh bukak mata skit.

tapi kan, kekadang tu, takut jugak nak bagi tahu.
1/pasal mungkin kwn i tu tak percaya apa yang i cakap
2/i tak nak dia breakup dengan kekasihnya pasal nanti i takut di blame sebagai punca keretakan dan perpecahan rumah tangganya.
3/mungkin hubungan persahabtan i ngan dia makin berenggang.

so, i rasa lah kan, I patut bagi tahu jugak pasal i dah kenal dia lama and si dia mungkin baru kenal je ngan kekasihnya.

untuk mengelakkan kawan baik kita tu dari hanyut dalam noda-noda kepura-puraan, better bagitahu. it's not like being a "kay-po-chi", tapi just beringat2 dan berpesan2... githuuuu

Ash-Junk said...

beringat2 sebelum kena...yes...betul2...tapi ni konsep, beringat2 setelah kena tapi belum di diagnosed katanya..huhuh


thanks jai. would take that into consideration.
your input is much appreciated (matila tiru sign off izzu kat emai)

Okabe said...

erm.kalo i bgtau kwn i. dia akan keliru nk percaya sapa. ala2 drama melayu kt tv gtu.
diluah mati mak.ditelan mati bapak.

so i biarkn sajork buat2 xtau.
dgn tema: Lessons Learned.
Sounds selfish tapi mcm izzu kata.. better leave unsaid. kita x dikira menipu.. just smpn utk sndiri je.

Alaahhh... dunia PLU.. mcm2 mak nenek ada.
Expect je la bende2 camni bila da kapel.
X berbaloi nk bunuh diri bagai.
*matila lari topik*

Ash-Junk said...

thanks nafisah..

setiap pandangan ada betulnye. skang ni nak weight mana satu jalan patut di ambil.. terharu i kerana begitu banyak pandangan diberi