MUST WATCH!!

Uols mesti dengar and watch this clip ye! this guy is GOOD with capital G!. I rasa version dia lagi sedap dari Gnarl's. Adik2 negro yang nyanyi uols. nama dia Durand Bernarr

Soulmate

Dah lama tak taruk iklan lagu... 

Incompatible, it don’t matter though

‘cos someone’s bound to hear my cry

Speak out if you do

you’re not easy to find

Is it possible Mr. Loveable

is already in my life?

right in front of me

or maybe you’re in disguise

Who doesn’t long for someone to hold

who knows how to love you without being told

somebody tell me why I’m on my own

if there’s a soulmate for everyone

Here we are again, circles never end

how do I find the perfect fit

there’s enough for everyone

but I’m still waiting in line

Who doesn’t long for someone to hold

who knows how to love you without being told

somebody tell me why I’m on my own

if there’s a soulmate for everyone

If there’s a soulmate for everyone

Most relationships seem so transitory

They’re all good but not the permanent one

Who doesn’t long for someone to hold

who knows how to love you without being told

somebody tell me why I’m on my own

if there’s a soulmate for everyone

Part 2

haih, selepas mengscout blog2 kawan2 i, i baru sedar yang content blog i sgtla depressing gitu. teramatla berbeda dengan personaliti i di dunia nyata...beda ke? hahahaha. susah ye nak menten gembira semanjang depan org ramai. to show that i have nothing to worry about, nothing that makes me sad whatsoever. 

kalau virtual life pun i nak kene pretend that everything is happy and rosy, harus la i sign up wad gila sekarang. doc panel clinic aku kene baca blog aku ni ye. so that u can make a thorough assessment of my emotional state. "oh keje ngan shell mmg tension, everybody feels the same way. i don't think ur depress, not until u want to kill yourself" - my ass!

baiklah, that thing aside, i nak sambung penulisan i yg lepas. 

Omar was the only straight guy (matila leading statement bunuh diri) yang i really2 feel comfortable of telling everything (well at least almost everything) about me. En Yumar, jangan kembang bontot lagi ye. 

Not just that he knows how to empathize, which i don't really need people doing it to me. he can rationalize, make sense and offer advise from what he gathered out of me. Big thing. everything must make sense to me. As much as i value people with the ability to do emotional rationalization, i need someone who can steer me into re-evaluating my thoughts and actions logically. And did i tell u that he is capable of doing both? yes, very rare skill. 

I don't know how much that i give in return. tapi, i rasa i reciprocate the same way with his life issues - most of the time trying to untangle his emotional dilemma. Oh, yang paling i suka about him ialah, sangat2 la penyabar dan accommodating. 

Aku tak pernah jumpa lagi org yang betul2 boleh tahan perangai aku yang gelong ni. Even best friends yang sedia ada pun akan at one point akan meracau bila wayar aku tetiba short. Tapi yang ni setakat ni, tak lagi. 

Aku cakap aku tak leh drive pagi, dia akan drive. Biar la dia tak cukup tido lebih dari aku ke tak. Tak marah or question much. I really appreciate that. Sebab i ingat lagi satu ketika dulu masa sedikit muda, i akan loya or muntah makan roti atau ketam. Not all the time, but most of the time i akan rasa loya. Jadi i cerita kat kawan baik i ni, tapi dia kata i mengada2. Aritu makan elok je, arini ko kata loya la? Sentap la jgk masa tu. Motif i nak pura2 buat cerita. Bukan i nak seek attention pun.

Nasib baik skang i dah tak loya makan ketam ngan roti dah. Jadi bila ada org bleh accept that there are few things/conditions that will set my motor in the wrong mode, i sangat2 la  kagum dan grateful to find such people. Tu tak campur lagi part bila i go completely sarcastic or cynical ngan dia, ini adalah few people yang tak jump straightaway. Instead, he laugh about it. Sangat mengagumkan ye. 

It will take sometime for people to get used to my style of addressing my points, being able to read my true intention out of those painful remarks. Cuma bila aku tambah umur dia kat org, dia agitate sket. huhuhu.. which i like to play that card every now and then. its fun. :P

Personality wise, kalau aku dapat org macam ni utk jadi my other half, rasanya dah complete kot hidup. Tapi malangnya, ada beberapa benda yang tak fit to my range of preference githu. I dont want to list it here coz he knows it himself. hahahaha.

alamak..dah kul 2 pagi dah. akan bersambung lagi. nak cerita pasal sorg pun dah bejela.. tak masuk lg sorg lagi ni. jenuh la aku pasni.

Permata Diantara Kaca

Generally, i'm very reserved about myself to anyone.

I can count how many instances in my life that i actually shared something about me to people. Perhaps its because the way i was raised, alone, having no one to spill out my emotions to.

I'm not saying that my parents raised me wrongly coz through all that, i became strong and independent as what i am now. Or at least that was what i thought once upon a time. 

I don't have many friends. Well that is a known fact to everyone. Simply because i just cant get myself acquainted to anyone that easy. Or perhaps i just couldn't pull out a facade just to be likable by many. But somehow or rather, despite my flaws and shortcomings, there are quite a sum of people that  wants to be close to me. God surely have his own ways to pour blessings over his creatures. 

I'm writing this just to show how much i appreciate those people that choose to stand by me, giving me the support that i need, becoming my safety net and teaching me about life.

In every stage of my life, i came across many new friends. Some remains just as normal friends, the one that you say hi and bye to every now and then. And some turned up to be closer than just normal friends. They became one of my best friends.

When i came to Ipoh. I was sad. Leaving my best friends behind was quite a big move for me. Just when i thought that i don't have to go through those lane again, fate just wouldn't agree with me much. 

The first 1.5 years in Ipoh was a difficult period for me. I couldn't find anyone to be friended with. Someone that i can let my hair down with while or after work. But things changed after Yumar and Sab came knocking to my life.

This two fellas contributed quite a significant impact on me, molding me into what i am now. And i am very thankful that i got to know this two person which i officially claim as one of my valuable treasures i ever have.  

alamak..dah kul 2 pagi. akan bersambung.

butterfly effect

wah..i sungguh gigih menulis skang..hahaahahha

i hanya akan mampu menulis kalau ada pekara2 lara, sedih atau emosi yg berkecelaruan berlaku dalam hidup i, my family or my friends ja. i dont really feel like writing something happy or ceria or apa2 pekara yang positive sebab i rasa macam idea i tak boleh bercambah bila menulis pekara2 seperti itu. 

so bila part2 gembira, i lebih suka taruk gamba with few captions. senang. anyhow, pictures supposed to tell you thousand stories kan? so, motif i nak mengarut pepanjang kalau gamba tu boleh bercerita sendri? ayo, tetiba emo plak. hahaha

racauan kali ni takde kene mengena ngan kisah peribadi i sangat but menyentuh kisah kawan baik i. emm.. maybe next time i nak tulis sapa kawan2 baik i. i seronok skang sebab i dah jumpa beberapa sahabat baru yang i can finally open up a few boxes yg i dah kept closed for so long. dah penuh dah warehouse i actually. its about time, i buat some housekeeping. 

berbalik kepada kesah kawan i ni. i kesian sebetulnye kat dia. coz i can completely relate myself kepada kisah dia sebab i tau betapa siksanya nak melepaskan sesuatu yang kita dah gengam sekian lama. tapi kengkadang, kita kene belajar melepaskan benda yang kita treasure for so long just for the good of both ourself dan juga orang yang kita sayang tu.

but when exactly is the right time to let go?

kan? solan tu sangat susah nak jawab sebenarnya. each time kita rasa patut let go, masa tu jugak la ada je benda baik yang pujuk hati kita untuk procrastinate decision tu. then again, every single move yang kita decide tu lah yang akan create massive impact later in our future. yes, butterfly effect. 

normally, bila kita dalam keadaan emosi celaru oleh sebab perangai orang yang disayangi tu macam celaka atau layak dibaling keluar balcony tingkat 10 ja, kita mudah buat kesimpulan dan dan tu jugak yang semua ni patut berakhir lama dah. tapi, lama dah tu tak jugak2 materialized. kenapa?

sebab kita selalu tertipu dengan perkataan hantu ini - HARAPAN. Yes, orang selalu berharap yang partner dia akan berubah. mungkin kalau kita cuba pujuk atau change a few things here and there, he or she will learn how to appreciate us better. 

harapan tu jugak la yang akan menjerut kita lebih kuat dalam diam2. harapan tu jugak yang akan memusnah hancurkan setiap impian yang kita simpan selama ini. kerana harapan yang kita angankan tu, kita lalai akan realiti sebenar yang terjadi.

jadi bodoh kah kita kalau selalu mengharap bahawa sooner or later keadaan akan menjadi lebih baik? ataupun bodoh kah kita untuk tidak perchaya bahawa masa akan merubah seorang manusia itu?

i pun tak tau nak bagi jawapan yang definitive actually. sebab semuanya bergantung kepada situasi dan sedalam mana kita mengenal peribadi seseorang tu. bagi i kalau dari 10 kali kejadian, 7 kali dia ulang perangai buruk yang sama. Dan, 7 kali jugak kita kasi peluang dan HARAPAN agar dia berubah,  jawaban i senang je. Jangan jadi BODOH. there is NO such thing as HOPE anymore!

sekian, terima kasih. 

i found the answer..

i asked myself a question in my previous post.. (actually i asked people who reads it, but none responded. so i have to find the answer myself la) and i found my answer anyway. thanks.

yes. every single question in this world has its own answer. it is just a matter of time for us to finally get it ourselves. as i was questioning myself whether it is possible to love someone that u have no idea how he or she looks like, i have forgotten the most important gist of the question itself. what was i looking for when i say 'to love someone?'. 

love is blind people say. perhaps it is blind. coz, if it is not, we won't see Siti Nurhaliza married to Dato K, neither will we be hearing gossips (?) like our handsome looking astronaut is (or was?) dating a full figured (kata izzu) cook? 

ah...blind people cant see... they fall in love... they got married... hence, the hypotheses has been tested. it is proven to be true.

premise 1: people fall in love

premise 2: blind people do fall in love

conclusion: love is blind

my point is, when it comes to what you feel inside, whatever external features the person might have is rather irrelevant if you are really honest with your feeling. it would be a bonus should you have someone that is good looking as you would be able to parade the other half to the whole world. something to be proud of- skin deep. 

but if you didn't get something so surreal, you can still be proud that you have found someone that is worthwhile devoting every single moment of your life for. which to me, something that people should be proud of the most.

people can criticize or say whatever they want, but it is you who had fallen in love with that person and you are entitled to that feeling yourself. If the rest of the world were unable to share the same thought...so let them be...