Part 2

haih, selepas mengscout blog2 kawan2 i, i baru sedar yang content blog i sgtla depressing gitu. teramatla berbeda dengan personaliti i di dunia nyata...beda ke? hahahaha. susah ye nak menten gembira semanjang depan org ramai. to show that i have nothing to worry about, nothing that makes me sad whatsoever. 

kalau virtual life pun i nak kene pretend that everything is happy and rosy, harus la i sign up wad gila sekarang. doc panel clinic aku kene baca blog aku ni ye. so that u can make a thorough assessment of my emotional state. "oh keje ngan shell mmg tension, everybody feels the same way. i don't think ur depress, not until u want to kill yourself" - my ass!

baiklah, that thing aside, i nak sambung penulisan i yg lepas. 

Omar was the only straight guy (matila leading statement bunuh diri) yang i really2 feel comfortable of telling everything (well at least almost everything) about me. En Yumar, jangan kembang bontot lagi ye. 

Not just that he knows how to empathize, which i don't really need people doing it to me. he can rationalize, make sense and offer advise from what he gathered out of me. Big thing. everything must make sense to me. As much as i value people with the ability to do emotional rationalization, i need someone who can steer me into re-evaluating my thoughts and actions logically. And did i tell u that he is capable of doing both? yes, very rare skill. 

I don't know how much that i give in return. tapi, i rasa i reciprocate the same way with his life issues - most of the time trying to untangle his emotional dilemma. Oh, yang paling i suka about him ialah, sangat2 la penyabar dan accommodating. 

Aku tak pernah jumpa lagi org yang betul2 boleh tahan perangai aku yang gelong ni. Even best friends yang sedia ada pun akan at one point akan meracau bila wayar aku tetiba short. Tapi yang ni setakat ni, tak lagi. 

Aku cakap aku tak leh drive pagi, dia akan drive. Biar la dia tak cukup tido lebih dari aku ke tak. Tak marah or question much. I really appreciate that. Sebab i ingat lagi satu ketika dulu masa sedikit muda, i akan loya or muntah makan roti atau ketam. Not all the time, but most of the time i akan rasa loya. Jadi i cerita kat kawan baik i ni, tapi dia kata i mengada2. Aritu makan elok je, arini ko kata loya la? Sentap la jgk masa tu. Motif i nak pura2 buat cerita. Bukan i nak seek attention pun.

Nasib baik skang i dah tak loya makan ketam ngan roti dah. Jadi bila ada org bleh accept that there are few things/conditions that will set my motor in the wrong mode, i sangat2 la  kagum dan grateful to find such people. Tu tak campur lagi part bila i go completely sarcastic or cynical ngan dia, ini adalah few people yang tak jump straightaway. Instead, he laugh about it. Sangat mengagumkan ye. 

It will take sometime for people to get used to my style of addressing my points, being able to read my true intention out of those painful remarks. Cuma bila aku tambah umur dia kat org, dia agitate sket. huhuhu.. which i like to play that card every now and then. its fun. :P

Personality wise, kalau aku dapat org macam ni utk jadi my other half, rasanya dah complete kot hidup. Tapi malangnya, ada beberapa benda yang tak fit to my range of preference githu. I dont want to list it here coz he knows it himself. hahahaha.

alamak..dah kul 2 pagi dah. akan bersambung lagi. nak cerita pasal sorg pun dah bejela.. tak masuk lg sorg lagi ni. jenuh la aku pasni.