i writing this to ask u a question about a friend that i have. i think he has a problem. a big one. as a friend, all i want is to help him. i love him. all of us do. but he seems not to love himself. as if we all love him more than he loves himself.
each one of us had given out our portions to make him stand on his two feet but everytime he gets it, he had forgotten how miserable he was before those aid comes into his lap.
if i were him, i'll be the most grateful and luckiest person in the world. i have so many people around me that cares about me so much that i don't have to worry about what is going to happen tomorrow coz somebody already has.
or maybe because i know i wont be dragged 6 feet under that makes me feels so complacent about myself. but how long will i be getting those help? one by one, all of my resources are going to be drained till none. should then i learn on how should i love myself better?
but wait, my resources hardly depletes. i'll just use my charms, it always work. i'll come up with whatever excuses or dreams i have about what i wanted in life, the ideal picture on how i wanted to drive my life about. people will sympathize, people will carve a road, a tunnel or even give me wings so i can fly.
i shall not live in deprive. look at me. as of now, i'm a living proof. no one knows better than me. myself. how holistic or deep others might interpret about my life, they can never get it right coz they are not me. they don't know how to be me. they wouldn't understand. so why bother? just help me when i ask them to. i'll be fine.
idon't need their sympathy.
if i were him...
i might be wrong.
those assumptions that i made might not truly reflects what he had in mind about all these. anyhow, assumption is the grandmother of screw ups right?
so kak sri siantan, how do i go about this? how can i make my friend comes to his senses? coz lord believe me, im about to loose my way on helping him and i dont want that to happen. coz i love him. we all love him. but sometimes love would only do nothing but pure devastation.
desperate angel (katanya~)