Open Relationship - elevation or point of breakdown?

Gawd, i'm so bored! Hari Raya is not something that i look fwd every year solely because there are just too many people coming over to our house and this would serves the perfect time for all the makcik2, nenek2 and pakcik2 to blurt out the forbidden question - Marriage.

So leceh! as if me getting married has anything to do with them except for the part that they can eat for free! Apa dah sengkek sangat ke korang sampai nak beli makanan pun susah? Semua ni telah menyebabkan either

a. I stay in my room, pretending as if i have lots of report to finish

or

b. go out menggunakan alasan beraya walhal sebenarnye aku nak isap rokok ja

Anyhow, enough about raya already. This week marked a new chapter in my relationship. We have now officially gone open. Yes. I declare myself living in an open relationship. So anyone who wishes to call me for good fun or group work, hey i'm all up for it!! hahahhaha. Back in business babeh!

1+1 = infinity ;)

Now why the sudden shift? This is not something new to me, neither to our relationship. We've spoken bout it before, on how i lay my values and terms involved when it comes to having an ideal relationship. Vice versa. And sex with other people was never a taboo thing for me and the other half.

Not a cardinal sin.

PROVIDED which i' m well aware of whom and when the action takes place. As long as i was told about it way before it happened and i'm agreeable to it, by all means. Go and have fun for all i care. Strictly sex, no emotional attachment and of course a SAFE one.

lady and gentlemen pick your place and position...

Lets look at this from an academical point of view. A psychotherapist, Michael Shernoff wrote about open relationship in an academic journal, Family Process titled "Negotiated Nonmonogamy and Couples". He cites author Dominic Davies who suggests men may be more able to separate in their minds love from sex, and that develop their own values system, refusing the "patriarchal and capitalist notion of a partner as a possestion" *ayo, bunyi sangat intelligent. i rasa kurang bimbo sekarang. huhuhu

What does it say? basically, we are able to distinguish sex as just sex. Just like oil and water will not mix. Now don't be a smarty and start talking about emulsification coz, that is out of contact khey.

This Shernoff also categorizes couples/relationship into few subtypes:

1) the sexually exclusive couple (monogamous);

2) the sexually non-exclusive but unacknowledged couple ("cheating");

3) the primarily sexually exclusive couple, also known as "modified monogamy" (those that perhaps participate in occasional three-ways or group sex together);

4) the sexually non-exclusive acknowledged couple (the open relationship), and

5) non-sexual domestic partners. He describes how for some couples, "fidelity" is defined by the emotional primacy of the relationship, and abiding by whatever rules the couple has agreed upon for how sex outside the relationship should manifest; while "infidelity" means not sex outside the relationship, but breaking the set rules, such as engaging in unprotected sex outside the relationship when it was agreed condoms would be used, or having sex locally when it was agreed they would play with others only while traveling.

So which one are you? I've been in category 1 and 2. And let me share with you, among all categories listed there, being in category 2 relationship sucks! Hence, i would rather go for cat 1 or the remaining others for options. And looking at my current situation and condition, cat 1 is not an ideal solution. People have need and i don't want my partner to be deprived by it which later leads to cat 2.

So why wait till catastrophe hits you when you can do something about it. Taking the problem into opportunity and ultimately the solution that works for both of u. Something to think about my fellow friends and readers...

Disclaimer: Please and again please, this is just my opinion from a different angle and perspective. Not that i dont want to put religion into matter but that will definitely cause the flow of thought being interrupted. So, read this with an open mind. Last thing i want is people sending me comments of tazkirah and ceramah. Not warranted for. Thank you.

now, that is what we call a happily, loving family. lol